how do i use nvc?


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We live in a world in which violence has become more and more accepted as the norm 🙈 It’s all around us 👍 From wars between nations to crime on the street, and even imposing on our everyday existence, violence manifests itself both explicitly and implicitly 🙈 Yet for many people, the very idea of violence seems foreign. They are not involved in physical confrontations or abuses, and thus they believe that violence is not present. But the reality is that whenever we become disconnected from our compassionate nature, whenever our hearts are not devoid of hatred in all of its forms, we have a tendency to act in ways that can cause pain for everyone in our lives, including ourselves. [1]
The language of NVC includes two parts: honestly expressing ourselves to others, and empathically hearing others. Both are expressed through four components – observations, feelings, needs, and requests – though empathic connection fundamentally relies on connection at the level of feelings and needs, hence observations and requests may or may not be articulated. Practicing NVC involves distinguishing these components from judgments, interpretations, and demands, and learning to embody the consciousness embedded in these components in order to express ourselves and hear ourselves and others in ways more likely to foster understanding and connection, to support everyone involved in getting their needs met, and to nurture in all of us a joy in giving and in receiving. The practise also includes empathic connection with ourselves – “self-empathy.” The purpose of self-empathy is to support us in maintaining connection with our own needs, choosing our actions and responses based on self-connection and self-acceptance. (edited by Amber Cruz from Ikorodu, Nigeria on August 7, 2020) [2]
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As per the experts from clearerthinking.org, nVC is a process developed by Marshall Rosenberg in the 1960s, and the content of this post (including most of the examples) are taken from his book Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life. The premise of NVC is that many of our habitual, automatic responses to other people may cause them harm. Rosenberg called this “violent” communication and believed that language encourages us to judge, compare and make demands of each other. We have all found ourselves engaging in this kind of communication at times (whether inwardly or outwardly), and adopting the four steps of NVC may provide an effective solution. We think it’s important to note that NVC should only be used in situations where people have each other’s best interests at heart. It isn’t helpful in abusive relationships (where it might be dangerous to expose information to an abuser) or in relationships of unequal power dynamics (for example, the relationship between a CEO and their intern, where it might not be appropriate to ask for personal information). [3]
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NVC is often associated with self-help communication skills, but it goes much beyond. Rather than a format, NVC is a consciousness based on the intention to create positive connection — recognizing that mutually enriching outcomes will emerge from the quality of the relationships. Rather than be motivated by fear, guilt, or any coercion, people give freely and happily when they feel good about each other and trust that their needs matter to the other person. NVC can help you create these kinds of relationships, personally and professionally.Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is a unique and powerful process for inspiring compassionate connection and action. It provides a framework and set of skills to address a wide range of concerns, from the most intimate relationships to global political conflicts.The purpose of NVC is to help all involved to sharpen their awareness of language so that they can express what really matters to them, and also hear what really matters to others. It involves empathic communication whereby we can attune ourselves to both our own and other people’s real needs.NVC recognizes that how we interact with each other is driven by core human motivators also known as universal human needs. By using NVC in our daily lives, we can identify and transform deeply ingrained “violent” communication methods that get in the way of having satisfying relationships Key Facts About NVC. (last emended 57 days ago by Frederick Daigle from Haerbin, China) [4]

Article References

  1. https://www.cnvc.org/online-learning/nvc-instruction-guide/nvc-instruction-guide
  2. https://baynvc.org/basics-of-nonviolent-communication/
  3. https://www.clearerthinking.org/post/2019/03/06/want-to-improve-your-relationships-try-nonviolent-communication-1
  4. https://www.nonviolentcommunication.com/learn-nonviolent-communication/
Mae Chow

Written by Mae Chow

Passionate about writing and studying Chinese, I blog about anything from fashion to food. And of course, study chinese! I'm a passionate blogger and life enthusiast who loves to share my thoughts, views and opinions with the world. I share things that are close to my heart as well as topics from all over the world.

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